Sometimes in life when things go wrong, we are left wondering at that moment going forward  what to: do, say, think, feel; with a sense of despair; really struggling and wanting to do anything to lessen the pain whether it is emotional or physical or both……….

This idea of doing something to act as a distraction can be on the whole more of a positive rather than a negative. I remember 1998 was a particularly difficult year for me and all I wanted to do was press the fast forward button, wanting desperately to be anywhere else with my thoughts and feelings than where I was currently at.

It is well known that doing some form of exercise is good for you, because the endorphins are stimulated and you do feel better physically, which itself leads to a more heightened level of mental awareness.

The negative side of distraction is using it in its extreme as avoidance, where you do many other things to self-collude in order to put off facing your issues, which are real. As we are human  beings we do use avoidance, but it requires tremendous effort, so eventually we run out of energy……….

Positive distractions might be: remembering all the things you have in your life, the list may be longer than you realise, then looking around and offering help to others that are struggling in their own lives. That way you do something to help another human being, it does not matter what it is, they gain and so do you, because you feel good about helping someone else which makes you feel valued by them and also you value yourself too.

Whatever you do, do something, anything – today!

If the tightrope walker gets the balance wrong then that’s probably the end….as human beings I often wonder if many of us stop to think and ask ourselves about the imbalances in our own lives? Whether its work versus play, or eating and drinking sensibly, taking some form of exercise, being able to take steps to quit something that we know isn’t good for us – take your pick this list is endless. The old adage “moderation in everything” is a wise statement, yet I’m not sure this comment is followed by many.

I remember working late yet again in the office one December many years ago. It was a gloomy winter’s evening, I was tired and probably needed to go home. I was curious how many extra hours I had given my employer that year so I totted it up and it was over 550 extra hours- where had the year gone?  At school everyone loved the deputy head and during detention one afternoon he imparted an interesting one liner  “work hard, play hard “. On reflection, having had many years of life’s experiences, I have deliberately changed this in my thinking and in practise to “enjoy work, love to play .”

We are not tightrope walkers so we think it does not really matter about getting the balance right on any front. If you could go to your local church yard and interview all those buried there, not one person would tell you they didn’t spend enough time working, the opposite would probably be true – they didn’t spend enough time playing.

It’s 2014 and the pressures in life have remained the same throughout time, they’re just different that’s all. Surely by asking ourselves the question “have I got the balance right?” would be a step in the right direction towards thinking about perhaps making some changes in our lives for the better, because you only get one life and you’re a long time dead. My resolution for 2014 is one word ” LIVE”……

It’s the end of the year, so once again I reflect on what I have experienced this year: the happy, the good, difficult things like physical and emotional pain, new friendships, the list is quite extensive.So traditionally many people in Great Britain, irrespective of where they are geographically on this great island will be singing Auld Lang Syne and as they do some will be relieved this year is drawing to a close ” glad to see the back of it”; while others will be filled with mixed emotions knowing that, as the year draws to a close and we all sing and wish everyone friend or stranger    “Happy New Year”  they know next year i.e. 2014 will bring lots of changes for them. Endings hold many different connotations -a break up of a relationship, moving home, changing job, death of a loved one… I suppose it’s not so much about the ending itself, I guess it’s whether I make the right decision to end something like a job or a relationship. I remember pulling the plug about a year ago on a thirty year friendship which is a long time, and I found this exceedingly difficult to do, especially as over the coming months, I still was unsure if the decision I had made was the right one. It hurt me emotionally to end this friendship – so many memories……

For those that are less fortunate and feel they have no control of the human things that happen to them like their husband or wife divorcing them – it must hurt deeply and in some cases the pain remains with them for the rest of their life. In time they make adjustments and learn to live with the situation. I know from my own personal experience what this feels like – not easy.

We struggle with endings in the many guises it represents, because we are meant to, we are human beings, complex in our thinking and in our behaviour to; it’s what make us and defines us. Perhaps if we were allowed to choose to be less human and live the life of a simple creature like the ladybird which has different needs yet fights for survival none the less, most of us would always choose to be human. One never knows what’s round the bend? As one door closes another one opens eventually .All you have to do is go through the door………..Happy New Year to you all!!