Most of us will have learnt about the god Narcissus during our classics education at school. However not all attractive people are narcissists and it is certainly the case that not all narcissists are attractive!

As a personality trait narcissism is on a continuum like any other personality trait, but those at the top end can be labelled as having narcissistic personality disorder. These people tend to have a high sense of entitlement, like to control others, talk about themselves all the time and only like to be associated with the “top” people! It can be caused by being put on a pedestal by one of your parents in childhood and then cruelly knocked off that pedestal by either the other parent or peers or school teachers. It is a psychological defence mechanism and can also be a learnt behaviour and/or inherited from a narcissistic parent.

If you have a narcissistic friend it is relatively easy to avoid them. However it is more difficult when it is a member of your own family or someone you work with. And when you start to stand up for yourself the relationship can become toxic….If the narcissist is an in-law you can again try and avoid them, but if it is a member of your family who you care about it is more difficult to manage… the best thing you can do is hold onto your self-compassion and don’t allow them to gaslight you.