Family and friends…

On our doormat by the front door (one which my husband bought) it says “Friends welcome. Relatives by appointment.” Also I had a conversation with a couple of friends back in the Summer and they were of the opinion that family members are no more deserving of our time and care than our friends, and that family members who we value are those that are also friends. Whereas I would agree with the latter, I am not sure about the former? I certainly think that we are not obliged to like everybody in our family. It is too much of a heavy load to put on ourselves to expect to get on with everyone in our families. I know that there are a couple of people in my husband’s family and likewise in mine that alot of people don’t like. I think that is probably the case for most people. Mindfulness teaches us not to judge people, but we can’t help being upset by people when there is a clash of personality; we are human – not robots. So when we find ourselves in a toxic relationship, it is sometimes better for our mental health to distance ourselves from those people, even if they are family members. That is not the same as colluding in a pact to make them an outcast – that would be cruel. Jesus said we should love our enemies, but he didn’t say we had to like them!

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