Life often seems full of disappointments – either big ones like not getting a second date with that guy you really like, not getting a cure for that chronic condition you are living with or not getting that job after doing a brilliant interview; and trivial ones too e.g. not getting those tickets for that concert, not losing weight before your holiday or not finding the last piece of the jigsaw. It is too easy to say we wouldn’t get disappointed if we didn’t have expectations – after all we’re human!
The Dalai Lama talks about the two arrows of suffering – the first is the hurt that arrives in our life over which we have no control and the second one is the way we deal with it – which we do have a choice about – we can dodge that arrow or take it out. In other words we can develop coping strategies. However there is often a time gap between the two arrows I think – or we can create one if we need it i.e. we can allow ourselves time to lick our wounds and process the feelings – it is okay to be upset sometimes – so we can take a time out for that.